When we meet someone for the first time, we immediately realize if we do not like them. Well, what we call first impression turns out to have more value than we think.
The reason is because in half a second the image of that person is recorded in the frontal lobe of our brain, which gives way to 8 seconds later to analyze its image according to our memory, mirror neurons and knowledge, determining finally if we like it or not.
And the same happens when we feel "chemical" when facing someone we have just seen.
The image can be influenced by several factors. The reasons are scientific:
-Non-verbal language. When we talk to someone, only a small part of the information we get from that person comes from their words. Researchers estimate that between 60% and 70% of what we communicate we do it through non-verbal language. That is, gestures, posture, appearance, look and expression. All this makes a person end up falling right or wrong in a first contact.
The non-verbal information of a person tells us many things: the way of dressing, if conventional, extremely shy, excessively sympathetic, his body odor ... all that brings us more than the verbal part.
-Intuition. In addition to the physical part, we must also remember the importance of psychic part, that is, the brain always recognizes if they want to deceive us.
Women are much more intuitive than men and we get more right with first impressions.
] -Detection of the brain. The brain instinctively detects, just because of the physical aspect, if a person gives us good vibrations or not, it's a matter of survival, just like we reject certain foods or situations that cause us fear.
-Little social skills. People who fall badly are usually not very good socially speaking. Psychologists put several examples: they fall ill people who barely know you begin to tell their private life or their problems, those who criticize third parties, those who only speak about themselves, those who are excessively sympathetic or pranks, the indiscreet, the who talk all the time without letting others do it, those who pretend to be always right or those who think they are superior to the rest.
Fortunately, all these faults can be corrected.
The problem is that most people who fall ill are not very aware of it, therefore the self-analysis is very important: How do they see me from outside and from What's wrong?
Likewise, it's good to put yourself in front of the mirror to act like a theater actor to see if your features are too stiff or unpleasant.
Fortunately, too , it is possible to learn charisma and try to correct certain defects.
Some of the solutions proposed by the experts are to take care of the image and personal grooming ,.
Recording a video to be seen and heard also works. Many times, when you see yourself from the outside you realize your mistakes.
Another good way to redirect this situation is that friends dare to tell the affected person in a diplomatic way that they should correct that defect. But of course, normally, the people who cause us to reject are no longer our friends.
Very often they are small defects that can be corrected, and sometimes it's as simple as to shut up a bit or change the tone of voice, that may be too imperative.
Another of the tactics that can be carried out to please is anticipate what our interlocutor likes and create common similarities and bridges, because when you perceive that the another person can share your beliefs, values or is your own football team, for example, we find it more attractive.
It is also important to develop the capacity for empathy to put yourself in the state of caller's mood. Empathy is the most important thing because individuals instinctively detect whether or not they can count on the person they just met and that causes liking or rejection.
Curiosities
British studio discovered something curious. L The brain areas of humans that are activated by stimuli that provoke disgust or fear are the same that are activated when someone misses us. The brain instinctively detects, just by the physical aspect, if a person gives us good vibrations or not, it is a matter of survival, just as we reject certain foods or situations that cause us fear.
By far effort, people who fall ill can improve by 75% their image, manners or tone of voice but the remaining 25% will remain unchanged and can not be disguised.
All behavior must appear authentic because if you do not run the risk of not being credible and cause even worse impression.
A good physical appearance, transmit credibility and have expertise that is, be knowledgeable about the subject of which speak, are the best ways to fall well.
People who, knowing that they do not connect well with the rest, are unable to solve the problem can end up triggering diseases or pathologies. This is the case of the social anxiety, that is an extreme shyness in which the affected person is afraid to stay or relate to other people.
Phobias and depressive disorders can also occur. At this point, psychologists point out that in many cases of bullying the victims are boys or girls who, because of their physicality or because they are nerds, fall ill to a group of classmates who end up messing with them.
At the other extreme are the people who already fall very well at the beginning. Experts say that there are people who have a natural charm intrinsic, that makes those around them feel good because they are cheerful, friendly and positive people.
In this section, ] beautiful people already have an important part gained because the first impression they make is usually good, although later we realize that it is stupid. It's unfair, but the handsome ones, without opening their mouths, already fall better than the ugly ones. An example of this basic or primitive instinct is the case of babies. A newborn laughs and spends more time watching a pretty face with a friendly expression than a face that is not pleasant.
There are people with sex appeal, an innate charm very linked to the sexual instinct . The sex appeal is not learned, it is born with him.
There are also individuals who have learned to exploit a kind character and behave in an attentive, subtle way, although there are times when they are too noticeable false and for that reason there are people who do not trust them.
The characteristics that define a charismatic person other than:
Laughter . It is the first contact to integrate into a society, which initiates the whole process of empathy.
Voice tone. We review the form and emphasis in which he tells us everything. His interpretation lets us know if we agree with her or we can not get along. At this point, we make a more accurate interpretation, but more chaotic. Men realize quickly, but incorrectly most of the time.
Memory. It arises from experience; and tells us, based on features and tone of voice, what we can expect from the person we have just met.
Photo: https://hospitaldediaessalud.wordpress.com/2014/11/04/por-que-me-caen-mal-ciertas-personas/