What is the lack of love?
The lack of love is the negative evolution of love. The opposite of falling in love and love
Why does it appear, what are the most frequent causes of lack of love, according to their experience as couple therapists?
We can point out among them, keep many accounts pending, bad management of everyday life with continuing misunderstandings and disagreements left unresolved . Sometimes it happens after suffering a great disappointment or loss of confidence as it can be after an infidelity, in which one of the two feels that something has broken.
How to realize that the lack of love has knocked on your door? [19659002] The lack of love is a very painful process that is installed. It is not something that happens from one day to the next, but is slowly and silently set . That is why it is very constructive in long-term relationships, to keep this possible evolution in mind and to know the incipient signs to remedy them and that this feeling does not advance.
What are the first signs?
In the stages before desamor, there are warning signs that if we make them conscious, we can act on them like for example: forget dates of anniversaries, that goes unnoticed a change of look in your partner ...
Sometimes, disguised claims of more personal space and independence, disqualifications, what you used to like about your partner that now becomes a negative mark, stop being present in your thoughts in a special place ... all these may be indications that the heartbreak is looming.
As this feeling sets in, it is becoming more evident. Coexistence is full of reproaches, boredom, neglect, lack of attention. Desire and sex are also damaged. The affective state of the unmarried person turns to emotions of a negative sign feels irritable, bored and even sad.
Is the natural evolution of relationships or can it be avoided?
It does not have to be A) Yes. But obviously, at the first signs, we must be aware and repair as soon as possible.
In therapy is it frequent to find this situation? What do they do as therapists facing this problem?
Unfortunately we do see it with some frequency. When it is only the beginning and the feelings of the couple are still redeemable, we work with them to "throw" and reinforce that loving part of the relationship, which sometimes due to disagreements or pending accounts, is tarnished.
Other times, we discover that there is not even a glimmer of love and when heartbreak has settled definitively in their hearts, therapy is useless.
How can I prevent heartbreak?
The heartbreak as the love does not suddenly appear as if by magic. It is a process in which if we are not attentive to the signals that our partner sends us, maybe one day it will settle in our hearts and it will be too late to solve it. To prevent this from happening to us, we will try to provide some ideas that will serve :
In the intimacy of all relationships there are aspects that we would like to change. Many people, given the demand for changes from their partner, take refuge or justify themselves by saying "I am like that!". It is true that it is not realistic or positive to try to change the way of being of your partner, but to modify some way of acting that bothers you or has a negative impact on coexistence. Beyond the extreme defense of your way of being, you will have to listen to your partner and try to make some change so that he feels better without this meaning a renunciation of your identity. [19659002] For example, if your partner feels some asymmetry in the weight of domestic obligations and so he tells you, it is necessary to collect that "complaint" and do something about it: that does not fall on deaf ears trusting in which it will be solved simply by passing the time.
In the bottom we return to speak of the "sack of the pending accounts" . If these small or large complaints expressed again and again do not find an interlocutor, nor are there attitudes of change, or even intention, they will progressively become entrenched and finally get into the bag of outstanding accounts. When this imaginary bag is very full and overflows, it usually shows the lack of love.
Suddenly one day you discover that your partner looks at you with a certain coldness and distance you no longer find in the back of your eyes that look of love . Something has changed it's too late to try to do what he told you so many times. Now he does not care anymore. Sad, right?
We wish with this post to reflect on how to avoid as far as possible reaching a point of no return .
Source: http://ysinembargotequiero.com/category/desamor /
Photo: http://www.solonosotras.com/sumergida-en-una-relacion-pareja/