Couples frequently enter into crisis due to a series of typical problems that ensue in coexistence. The life of a couple involves facing many issues: work, relationships with third parties, family, ups and downs, money, etc. etc. Many couples face and overcome these problems, others do not. Here we present some of the most frequent problems (we also recommend to consult our page crisis of the couple )
Problems, problems ... solutions, solutions. All couples face problems and almost all problems have their solution. The important thing is to maintain the faith that it is worth finding and fighting for it. It is important to identify and address the problems correctly and emerge stronger once we have overcome them. We will comment on some of these problems (their order does not indicate an important relationship).
1. Work Many couples work in different places. More than eight hours away from home, five days a week. A whole world of perceptions, moods, tensions, experiences, relationships with third parties ... Many days it happens that the face of the return home is very different from the one that was when waking up in the heat of the home. Many hours, a lot of life without sharing. Only communication, sincerity, trust and ability to support will not allow work absence to become a problem.
2. Travel, absences, distance ... Also work or other reasons may impose travel, distance and prolonged absences in between. The couple is deprived of being able to reaffirm their commitment every day after returning from work. It is a "harder still". The solution must go through more communication (phone calls, talk a lot, support us in continuous details, attention ...), and above all more sincerity, trust and support. The couple has to make an effort to share what happens outside the home: aspirations, frustrations, successes, anger, etc.
3.Family. Parents of her, parents of him, brothers, brother-in-law ... A lot of family activity? Excessive? The family can be a source of wonderful and beautiful relationships, but also of distortions. The problems arise when the family activity affects the life of the couple with interference, interference, worries, problems, etc. The family is a litmus test for the couple, who will have to take decisions and responsibilities.
4. Children Children contribute decisively to strengthen the life of a couple with feelings and responsibilities that make a relationship more solid. But it does not always happen that way. Especially if there is no equity, co-responsibility, convergence in points of view, complicity when it comes to raising, treating and educating children.
5. Distrust. Trust is a fundamental pillar of the life of the child. couple. If there is no confidence, many problems will become irresolvable in the life in common. One of the most typical problems of the lack of confidence with the jealousy . But he's not the only one. Mistrust can provoke humiliating attitudes for the couple, also contributes to foster a negative image, lack of self-esteem, etc. Mistrust weakens support, communication and commitment two other pillars important for the long life of the couple.
6. Support. Support without reservations, that's the recipe. The lack of support creates a negative feeling of frustration, of thinking that "the other" has failed you. The attitude of solidarity must be one of the vital signs of the couple.
7.Infidelity. Nowadays, it seems that infidelity is a low value. However, also today records break every year in breakups of couples. Recently the INE gathered that the couples (marriages) that had broken (separation) after their first year had grown by 325% in only twelve months. One thing is to adopt liberal and permissive attitudes and quite another is that in practice is tolerated and coexists well with infidelity. If you want to destroy a couple, be unfaithful; or even just adopt equivocal attitudes: excessive kindness, confidence or confidentiality with a third party ... Some couples do not recognize that these things feel bad, accumulate them and generate distrust, negativity, introversion, lack of communication ... The couple, in practice , it is usually demanding and absorbing and not admitting it can lead to the relationship through channels full of turbulence and risks.
8. Sex. Maybe there can be happy couples without sex having a leading role. We will not fall into the temptation to oversize sex. The couple evolves over time and with it the sexual relationship itself. However, a lively, imaginative, intense, vibrant sexual relationship ... will be a magnificent "insurance" to endure and cope with other types of problems (family, work, etc.). So if you want a good advice to overcome problems here is: make your sexual life rekindle the illusion and mutual interest, that is a way to transmit harmony, desire, love and seal in an accomplice the union that defines the couple . Make love, not war. And do it with the passion you did when you started walking. If good sex is lacking, perhaps a good ally has been fired for the couple's health and for the solution of many of their problems.
9.Casa. A space for two ... or more. At home they spend many hours, work on household chores, watch TV, use the same bathrooms, listen to music ... For the house furniture is bought, loans are requested, mortgages, etc. Each person makes use of this vital space that is the home according to their education or their culture. Some do not care about smells, others are very sensitive to them and can not stand them; some like disorder, others irritate; there are maniacs of cleanliness and they even create asthma problems, others pass from it. There are those who want to leave a light on at night, others can not sleep with light. Let's not say what they want to sleep in winter with the windows open, while their partner is kept awake by the cold and frequent constipation. Even setting the table or washing your hands before sitting down to it can be the subject of controversy. Let's not say the daily administration of the house: maintenance, cleaning, etc. etc. All these differences can be strenuous in the life of the couple. Some agree and with flexibility come to please both parties, others resort to sex and in bed forget the domestic differences ... To the point that if the discussion was to paint a room red or yellow, the end is painted orange. Let's not say if sometimes other relatives live (in-laws, brothers ...) and the situation gets worse; in this case the house can become a very important source of problems. How to solve them? Sometimes the answer is in understanding, other times in technology or in changing houses. Why not? (better than changing partners)
10.Amistades. The couple must have a unique friendship policy. A source of problems are one's friendships, one's friendships. The problem could be anecdotal, but not so much if the couple is noticing how the confidences between the friends of one and the other overcome the communication of the couple; something that is advisable never to happen. In practice, the couple must redefine the concept of friendship; those couples who do not, have at this point a source of distortions that must be overcome with communication, trust, fidelity, etc. etc.
11. Mania, tastes, different hobbies . Years ago women were engaged in embroidery and housework and husbands went to the bar to play cards or soccer. Nowadays this is not so extreme and perhaps the subject is reduced to a discussion about who gets the remote control of the TV. If it is only that, it may be very surmountable. But what happens when one wants a vacation on a massive beach and another a small country house? Or if one wants to play golf and the other to ride a horse; one prefers to go to a French restaurant and another to a thai; one loves DIY and the other goes shopping, etc. etc. The issue is complicated ... And we must have other assets (good sex, understanding, empathy, flexibility - today you, tomorrow I- etc. etc.
12. Lack of equity in household burdens Many Couples tend to carry out household chores very unequally, for example, if one works outside and the other does not, the conclusion is that the latter should undertake the household chores more, which is a contradiction, since the gap becomes even more Not only do they not share a lot of time when they are away, but at home they do not share tasks that can serve as an excuse to approach, to talk, in short, to be closer together. support, it is very important in the couple, and everything should be done to encourage it, make dinner together, put the dishes together in the dishwasher, light the fireplace, review what was the day before going to bed, share the obligations of next day ... all those things are very healthy for the couple.
13. Inflexibility. Lack of flexibility and understanding is another source of problems. Life in common requires empathy and the adoption of positions in accordance with the situation experienced at each moment. Inflexible positions in time foster other rigidities and intolerances, fostering negativity.
14. Negativity Thinking negative is a mental state that is devastating for a person. It begins by criticizing a neighbor and after this is followed by friends, family, etc. In the end the negativity reaches the couple and ourselves. The lack of self-esteem is a danger to the relationship of the couple. Insecurity will result in mistrust, lack of support, etc.
15.Abundance Some couples submit their relationship to routines or charges so predictable that they lead to boredom until in the end it ends up taking its toll. Boredom is subjective. A couple in love have fun with a parchÃs and a French omelette and two candles on the table. Others are bored by a safari in Africa or a night in Paris. Boredom is usually a consequence of other accumulated problems: lack of communication, lack of equity in the burdens, inflexibility, friendships, different tastes, sex ...
16. Lack of communication. It is one of the most important causes in the generation of problems of a couple. Sometimes certain discussions have not been resolved well. The conclusion of one of the parties is "next time better shut up than discuss", this does not lead to anything. In the couple a discussion must conclude with approach, application of flexible postures, and with the feeling that it has served to bring and understand better. We must combat irritation, misunderstandings, misunderstandings, etc. etc. All these things, if not solved, will accentuate the lack of communication. Do not let the biggest ally of the couple's health (communication) separate from your environment. Take maximum care of communication.
17. Lack of sincerity. Even the most fluid communication in the couple will not help if there is no sincerity. An unwaivable commandment for the couple: sincerity. When it fails, it causes negativity, distrust, suspicion, lack of communication and in many cases rupture or major problems of various kinds. The lack of sincerity is, in fact, a lack of respect to the person. And when the couple fails to respect the evolution of the problem can acquire dimensions really worrying, to the point of adulterating and prostituting the very concept of a couple.
18. Lack of capacity to forgive. How much more do you love a person, the more capable you are of forgiving her. As simple as that. The lack of capacity to forgive is a bad symptom: it indicates that love does not enjoy good health. We all comment errors; understand them and forgive them in advance. Think positive what your partner contributes. Practice empathy, tu forgiveness is a gift of love .
19. Lack of correspondence . Of course in love; but also in everything. The couple is a matter of two. Coexistence can not be based on generosity, patience, mutual support and understanding of only one of the parties. Forgive and understand if there is ability to correspond on both sides.
20. Do not defend your space . When third people occupy the space (not only physical, but very especially psychic) of the couple, it devalues their relationship. The couple must defend a space that is their own to make their own decisions, to carry out their dreams, to share problems, concerns, etc. Do not give up fighting if you see that for any reason that space is diminished or altered.
Source: http://www.euroresidentes.com/amor/pareja/pareja-problemas.htm
Photo: http://matrimonioideal.com/los-problemas-con-la-pareja/